Home

As I mentioned in a previous post, I love just about any type of music. My love of music is eclipsed only by my love of books. And you can never have too many books (I say that as I sit here yawning and bleary-eyed due to the fact that I was up past midnight because I HAD to finish American Dervish. So good. I couldn't put it down. Damn back lit Kindle! But that's for another post.).

Anyhoo, I've been in a pretty low mood lately due to our financial situation, and things were not helped several weeks ago when my iPod fell in the toilet. I tried drying it out in rice, but no luck - my pretty pink iPod is no more. It teases me by turning on and displaying the cover art for the song that was playing at the time of the fall, but the scroll wheel no longer works. It's toast. Scott suggested I try and trade in some books on Amazon towards a new one. I didn't talk to him for at least an hour. I still have iTunes on my laptop, and that's somewhat portable, even if it does need a new battery (yet another expense we weren't planning on... *shakes fist at God*).

So any way, after feeling sorry for myself and our crappy situation for about the 100th time yesterday, I packed up my laptop, headed into the kitchen, put the tunes on, and started cooking. I looked around the kitchen, which is a weird pumpkin orange and needs remodeling. My cabinets are too dark, too small, and yet another piece of glassware broke after being put away improperly, delaying our dinner by about fifteen minutes. We had no ice due to the ice maker line freezing yet again. (How does that even happen?) But you know what? It's OK. I have a home, and although its contents need updating, not all of its appliances work perfectly, and the people in it are FAR from perfect, it's my home. And I love it.

Only freshmen

I love music. All types of music. And I'm definitely one of those people that associates a song with a certain place, time, or moment in my life.

A friend of mine posted a clip of the Verve Pipe's "Freshmen" on Facebook yesterday and instantly I was transported back to a world in which I was eighteen and I knew everything.That song always made me stop dead in my tracks, especially with its haunting chorus and emotive lyrics. Yes, I know all the words by heart.

When I was young I knew everything
And she a punk who rarely ever took advice
Now I'm guilt stricken, sobbin' with my head on the floor
Stomp on Baby's Breath and a shoe full of rice, no...

I can't be held responsible
'Cause she was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

My best friend took a week's vacation to forget her
His girl took a week's worth of When I was young I knew everything
And she a punk who rarely ever took advice
Now I'm guilt stricken, sobbin' with my head on the floor
Stomp on Baby's Breath and a shoe full of rice, no...

I can't be held responsible
'Cause she was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

My best friend took a week's vacation to forget her
His girl took a week's worth of valium and slept
And now he's guilt stricken sobbin' with his head on the floor
Thinks about her now and how he never really wept he says

I can't be held responsible
'Cause she was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

We've tried to wash our hands of all of this
We never talk of our lack in relationships
And how we're guilt stricken sobbin' with our heads on the floor
We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip, we'd say

I can't be held responsible
'Cause she was touching her face
And I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

We were merely freshmen
We were merely freshmen
We were only freshmenalium and slept
And now he's guilt stricken sobbin' with his head on the floor
Thinks about her now and how he never really wept he says

I can't be held responsible
'Cause she was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

We've tried to wash our hands of all of this
We never talk of our lack in relationships
And how we're guilt stricken sobbin' with our heads on the floor
We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip, we'd say

I can't be held responsible
'Cause she was touching her face
And I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

We were merely freshmen
We were merely freshmen
We were only freshmen

Whenever I hear the song, I think, "I knew better. I wasn't going to make any mistakes." But I did. And while there are certainly parts of the past thirteen years I would've liked to have lived differently, God has placed me on this path for whatever reason and together, we'll all be held responsible for whatever happens, be it good or bad.

So...

...I kind of fell off the Internet for a while. My apologies. Or, maybe I should apologize for coming back, to those of you who were celebrating in my absence.

I wish I had some really cool excuse... like I was involved in some top-secret investigation, or I was sequestered to my house while being forced to read books for pay or something (Somebody - do this to me - please!) but really, nothing happened. We weren't on vacation, no one was seriously ill (praise God), and our house is still standing.

We've taken a couple of financial hits in the past few weeks, and instead of coming to what should be my coping place (here), I withdrew. But no more.